one might say we're banned from that church
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
