I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
