How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
She needs sedatives and a leash
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
