do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
