You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
