If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
