I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
