Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Found the puke drawer
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
