Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
