So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
