I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
