yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
