I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
