Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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