i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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