In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
