hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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