Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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