So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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