After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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