There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
