she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
