so that wasnt chicken after all
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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