Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
