I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
