You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
