Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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