so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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