Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm passing your future prison.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
