I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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