Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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