I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Randomize
