thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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