Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
