You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
