So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
