i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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