why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
This house was built for laser tag.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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