just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she told me i tasted like america
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
