My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
