If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Someone came in the potted fern
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
