like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
