My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We need to get me chipped asap
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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