I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
wow bdsm is so cute
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