I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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