He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
