mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
