making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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