Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
