his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
