Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
