I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
