Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You're so nebulous sometimes
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Porn is love you can see.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
