he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
